2004-12-16
"Put on your mucklucks and your earmuffs and get your ass into work. "
My boss just stopped by and we were talking about how we (MyCompany) should close down between Christmas and New Years. (Better yet, between Thanksgiving and January 8th.) In any case, she said this was definitely something we could consider and that I should approach Senior People with it -- but the "use your PTO but you don't have to report to work" version as opposed to the "paid time off for a week" version, the latter clearly being the superior choice.
I'd take the former version, too, because the problem with my job is that I oversee the building and the support staff. We answer the phones, greet visitors, deliver mail, clean puke, plunge toilets, and play with the HVAC controls 988 times a day to keep people happy (we really don't ... we stride up to the thermostat thingie with great purpose, stand there and rub our chins, furrow our brows, then tinker with it authoritatively, and exclaim "VoiLA!". Almost instantly whiny customer feels warmer/colder/hornier/whatever they weren't before). (Neat job, eh?! You WANT to work here, don't you? I know you do.)
Given what me and my staff do, we are the ones stuck HAVING to work on all days except the "Big Holidays" while everyone else can take off to Santa Fe for a ski trip La-dee-da because their jobs don't require that they sign for Fed Ex packages or take the mail in every day. THEY all went to college. (Kidding -- all of my staff have degrees -- and me too! WTF?!)
So the point is that if we "closed" the office -- actually locked the friggin front doors -- then WE, support staff, wouldn't have to come to work. WE could go to Santa Fe, or... you know, Ypsilanti. We could have time off without guilt.
The problem with this scenario is that we'd have to come up with some other word than "closed", because all of our greedy guts technical staff (the ones skiing in Santa Fe -- yeah, them) will have big fat hairy cows as soon as they hear we are "CLOSED" because that implies that the canNOT work so therefore they must be paid by MyCompany.
We need a new term for "closed".
I'm thinking something along the lines of "Not-Really-Closed Feel-Free-to-Work-Asshole Use-Your-Building-PASS-Card-and-Go-CRAZY". Just don't expect to get any mail, okay? Cuz we aren't going to be here.
I live in Michigan and EVERY time it snows more than 1/4" I have people calling me at home at o'dark-thirty -- "Are we 'closed'?" they ask, hopefully.
No penis-breath, we aren't. Put on your mucklucks and your earmuffs and get your ass into work. Jeez. People are so needy and whiny and ENTITLED.
One year this guy had the audacity to ask if we could schedule a major workstation reconfiguration during the holidays because it would be "convenient for them" because they would all be "gone".
Helllloooooooooo? Newslflash, Mister. WE celebrate the holidays-not-Christmas TOO!!! I know! Incredible as that may seem, we do!
I think punching him in the gut got my message across loud and clear.
anyWAY. I hope we do this next year. Because let's face it. How much work actually gets done between now and New Years other than updating Diaryland entries, eating popcorn, cookies, chocolate and all the other shit our vendors send us (but where's the booze, dammit? Where?!), and talking about who did what with whom at the Holiday-not-Christmas party. We are all about as productive as spayed rabbits. Everyond furiously typing (thank GOD typing is considered "work"), but all we're really doing is hunting around he internet, ordering stuff on line, and writing in our diaries.
Okay, I have to try this, because Gump was kind enough to tell me how.
Let's see if that works. Check him out. This guy is funny.
Okay. I need to check my email. Or walk around. Or something.
Did everyone else go through a honeymoon period with Diaryland where that's ALL they did?! I need a meeting!
Babz, Mighty Toilet Plunger
xquzme at sometime today