2004-12-18
80 Useless facts about me
1. I am exactly 20 years older than Gump . Exactly.
2. My husband is 8 years younger than me, but he's a lot taller. So it works. He's also a lot more mature.
3. I get an allowance (cash) every month because I still bounce checks.
4. I was a nanny in the south of France when I was 20.
5. The family I worked for was rich and well-seated in society so I almost got to meet Robertino Rossilini (youngsters, trust me on this -- he was totally H-O-T).
6. Thank God I didn't, because my french basically sucked.
7. I almost shaved off all my eyelashes.
7a. I'm glad to report that eyelashes DO grow back.
8. Other than my stint in France, I have never lived anywhere other than Michigan.
9. We have a cottage up north in a 100-year old association and most of the owners are related.
10. Which is why I know my third-cousin-twice-removed.
11. Which is very valuable information.
12. I type about 100 wpm.
13. With about 50 typos.
14. Speaking of which, why can't I type "because"? It's always "becuase". The "u" finger is faster than the "a" finger. Bastard.
15. My ex-best friend just had a baby and I will never meet her. This makes me sad. First woman I ever "broke up" with.
16. Worse yet, she broke up with ME. Bitch.
17. I smoke, but say I don't.
18. I snore, but say I don't.
19. For an old chick, I have pretty good ta-tas. I still get many hours of amusement out of them.
20. My husband is not a boob man. WTF?!
21. I talk to myself all the time. In fact, I carry on entire conversations with someone who isn't there.
22. I am embarassingly uneducated about current events, but I still like to debate about things. Loudly. With great passion.
22a. I get most of my "news" from People magazine. (I know -- totally pathetic.)
23. I went to Hillsdale College which is a deeply conservative school.
24. (Then) Secretary of State Hague spoke at my graduation.
25. I have no idea what he was said because I was very busy trying NOT to throw up on myself.
26. I have no idea if that's the correct spelling of his name.
27. I use Google as my spell checker.
28. I'm a damn good driver.
29. I will talk to anyone, anywhere, about anything.
30. I missed the "don't talk to strangers" video in gradeschool.
31. I can cry at Polaroid and Maytag commercials.
32. I look really ugly when I cry.
33. I pick my lips and cuticles.
34. Sometimes I pick at my cuticles during MyCompany meetings, and I have to excuse myself to get a bandaid.
35. My colleagues think this is really "neat".
36. My Mom died when I was 13.
37. I still miss her every single day.
38. I just turned the age she did when she died -- very disconcerting becuase I suddenly "got" how YOUNG she was.
39. My Dad remarried a wonderful woman. They live in Maine.
40. I have one older sister and she is the shit. Love her love her love her.
41. She owns a pot bellied pig named "Ursa".
42. Pot bellied pigs do not stay little.
43. I've lost about 40 lbs in the last year.
44. Prior to that I was neck and neck with Ursa on the scales.
45. I still have about 30 to go.
46. Because I'm fucking short.
47. I read a lot. Anything. It's my drug of choice.
48. With mind-numbing bad TV coming in second.
49. Who am I kidding, MILLER LITE is my drug of choice. Let's be serious.
50. I do stuff at my job I can't talk about.
51. I've been at MyCompany for 22 years.
52. They can't get rid of me.
53. I love my job and my staff right now.
54. I married a nice polish-catholic boy from a huge family so I now consider myself Polish.
55. Large polish-catholic families are a hoot. And they're loud.
56. I am an atheist, but I know how to "fake catholic". I know when to do stuff, like say "And also with you."
57. My Mother-in-Law thinks it's cool I try to fake it.
58. My husband went to catholic schools his entire career.
59. He is the smartest person I know.
60. I love him very very much.
61. But sometimes I want to hit him with my paperback.
62. We don't fight. Ever. But we do play the "WHAT?" game:
HB: have you seen the mumble in the mumble?
me: What?
HB: I SAID HAVE YOU SEEN THE .... spoken at 57 decibals right in my face.
me: NO. Oh, and fuck you.
63. I have never said "fuck you" to my husband.
64. I say "fuck ME" a lot, though.
65. I'm getting bored with me. How about you?
66. I can do a perfect cartwheel, usually when intoxicated.
67. Until I was about 30, I was painfully shy.
68. Probably because I was also painfully fat.
69. I figure at some point I'm going to have to quit drinking. Which that sucks.
70. But not today.
71. I think people are the coolest thing in the world.
72. If you know Myers-Briggs, I'm an ENFP.
73. Which fits, if you look it up.
74. I am basically lazy.
75. I don't work out.
76. I need to work out.
77. Is the year I graduated from HighSchool.
78. I need to go get ready for MyCompany's Holiday-not-Christmas party.
79. Details tomorrow.
80. Send good "don't make an ass of yourself, Babs" thoughts my way tonight.
xoxoxoxoxo
xquzme at sometime today