2004-12-15
WhineFest
Yes, my little chickadees, it's that time again. Time for a MegaWhine by Babz.
1. Diet 7-up. Why can't our pop/soda guy get this for one of our two machines? Why? What's so hard about this? We can get Vernors, for chrissakes, which I personally only drink when I am (a) about to or (b) have just thrown up. (Sorry to all you Vernors Lovers out there. It's a childhood thing.)
2. Pop/Soda delivery velocity. Could we slow down the rate at which the pop is hurled down the shoot to it's resting spot underneath the clear plastic door which you can never get opened because the pop/soda is in the way? Could we? Please? I'm tired of having my 20 oz Diet coke instantly become 18 oz of uncorbonated flavored water, and even more tired of Diet Coke explosions on my blouse. I'm thinking this is why God invented Engineers. Let's get busy boys and girls.
3. Christmas shopping. I hate it. Detest it. Mostly because I'm bad at it and wait until now to start. The fact that I married a nice polish boy from a gigundous polish family, all of whom we buy for, doesn't help. This is further exacerbated (evil snigger) by the fact that he "doesn't 'do' Christmas" which means that I do everything. anyWAY -- back to bitching about shopping. I think I'm really shitty at it. I never make lists and instead find myself wandering aimlessly around aisles of crowded department stores, staring off into space, wondering if Aunt Beulah or Cousin Shatiqua would actually USE a Creme Brulee kit and concluding "Well, fuck it. If I can't think of anyone to give this to I'll keep it for myself". I use the "one for you, three for me" method of shopping. I can't wait to make Creme Brulee.
4. Can we turn down the friggin' heat? It's 110000 degrees in MyCompany today. It's so hot and dry my nostrils are stuck together, my lips are parched, so much so that I want to just soak them in my 18 oz. of uncarbonated flavored water, and I'm starting to get wafts of "goat" from under my worksurface. Wait... I took off my shoes. That's what it is. Even my tootsies are hot.
5. My very flat learning curve with Diaryland. I just filled out my first survey, only to discover, because I'm stupid like that, that EVERYONE can read it. Swell. What was I thinking? I guess it's okay -- I don't really say anything in it that I haven't said in here, but still. My name and all. Ack. Ack. Ack. (hairball imitation)
6. Those stupid portable cameras people insist on putting out at the Holiday-not-Christmas parties. The pictures are in, and just as I suspected, I am as lovely, sweaty, and HA-MMERED in photo as I was in person. Fan-tas-tic. I'm so glad we caught the evening in culloid. Cellulite? Whatever. Pictures. I'm lovely. Just lovely. But damn. I *can* tell I've lost weight. That's kinda cool.
7. Whiners. GOD I hate whiners. Really. Don't you?
It's almost time to get back into the Holiday Spirit and Do More Shopping. I have no idea what I'm looking for or for whom I have to buy. If nothing else I will go to Barnes and Noble and read Children's books. And cry. Yes, I'm *that* lady.
Speaking of which, I need to post another oldie but goodie.
Off to the mall, tra-la, tra-la.
xquzme at sometime today